Posts archived in Self Love

December 11, 2008

A Diva in Business: Curbing Retail Therapy and Getting a Free Credit Report

I’ve been discussing the “Diva Entrepreneur” concepts with a friend, and we isolated one single thing that keeps women from finding their place in the business world: overspending and retail therapy. You see, I believe that each girl has a business sense that is more finely tuned than a man’s, but this third sense in business has an emotional counterpart. Some women, when they are stressed or heartbroken lose their focus and that’s when it all falls apart. An entrepreneur can take charge in every single aspect of her business, from watching her credit score like hawk, to inventorizing, to finding ways to improve credit standing.

Entrepreneurial success is no accident, particularly when the woman behind the successful enterprise has the passion and the mindset necessary to improve her spending strategy. A lot of us are crippled by retail therapy, particularly if we cannot afford it.It’s not like we mean to spend every single dime in our account on a gadget, it’s just that we are looking for a quick fix. We may be feeling like we are never giving ourselves enough or we think we deserve something to make us smile after a long hard day of dealing with finnicky customers. However we justify it, retail therapy when we barely have money to cover our daily needs, and we are close to maxing the good ol’ plastic card, is counterproductive.

The solution? Start a business.

A small enterprise is a diva’s brainchild. If a diva invests all of her time to making her business grow, she will feel good about herself, and she will improve her lifestyle. Isn’t it better to celebrate a success with retail therapy than use retail shopping as a way to simulate a success?

The first step to building a business is to avail of a free credit report to gauge the extent of the damage caused by your previous spending. If you’re standing is sound, go ahead and invest a part of your floating money on a planned out venture.

October 8, 2008

Personal Debt Management: A Dash of Self Love Will Go a Long Way

Everyone wants to be loved, but the big difference lies in how they want to be loved, and what loving means to them. Do you measure love in terms of the number of people you attract, the fame that comes with it, or in terms of how many want your attention? A lot of people profess that they are unlucky in love, but what they really mean is that they’re failing in one aspect in their lives that doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with giving and receiving love.

It all starts with loving yourself.

Psychological health is seldom discussed outside the shrink’s office, and when finally brought up, becomes a thing that only psychologists and life coaches can deal with. People who admit that “they have a problem” take the first step to mending their lives, but the whole process becomes a convoluted array of counselling sessions and antidepressant pills. Is there a way to make the self loving process simple? One thing that people fail to understand is that they put so much stress on themselves when they don’t need to.

Do not do anything that will cause you stress in the future. Setting yourself up for financial ruin by borrowing too much now to assuage that nagging guilt that you’re not loving yourself more will not help you really give something back to yourself in the future.

One example of this is the credit card issue. Let’s say one person owes 500 dollars in credit and is allowed to borrow up to a thousand. Does he resolve the 500 dollar debt first before even touching the rest of the credit limit? Or, would he use it until it maxes out then worry about everything later?

Worry is the keyword there. I can tell you now that the best gift you can give to yourself is peace of mind. Allow yourself breathing room, to live free of obligation and anxiety. This starts with an overhaul of your spending habits. You must not treat each ‘frugal’ move as a self sacrifice. Think of frugality and thrift as a means of giving yourself that feeling of not owing anything to anyone.

Self love means imposing tough love on yourself.

Like our parents tell us “You have to do this so that you will be well off in the future”. Always think of what kind of emotional and psychological state you will be in. Aiming for a stress-free future becomes the new goal.

September 6, 2008

Real Friendship: Golden Friends Don’t Glitter

“All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. ”
-J.R.R. Tolkien

One of the most frustrating things in life is Trusting and Trust per se, particularly “the act of” and “who to”, respectively. Many individuals who succumb to depression and bouts of panic attacks have trust issues, and who can blame them? It’s one thing to always consider the goodness in every man, and another thing to place unbiased trust on someone who could bite you as soon as you turn your back.

Friendship is a Trial and Error Process

Not everyone we call ‘friends’ will know that we treat them as such. At the same time, there are people who offer us true friendship, but we may never know how much they care until trouble hits.

The strangest thing in the world is how we are linked to some people, and how some people will NEVER really be worth our trust. It’s just the gut feeling that a person can keep your confidence, while another could be trusted only with the most trivial matters. Our relationships are defined not by niceness but by track record.

Break ups between friends are not unheard of, and these could sometimes be worse than breaking up with a lover. Luckily, if the friendship is real, no amount of strife can keep two friends from being linked together by a force called ‘mutual concern’. Soon, friends who have been kept apart by issues come back to each other because they realize how trivial it is to dwell on past issues and not their lasting friendship.

Real friends are those who love you, care for you and look out for you even if they don’t shout it out, shower you with gifts or remind you often.

These real friends are also “tough love” experts that could turn you off once in a while.

August 20, 2008

Recovering: Standing Up and Moving On

We are to ourselves just what we think we are

-Phineas Parkhurst Quimby

Inventorizing is not just a term that we use in business. We use it also to build (or re-build) our self image. Those who are recovering from a loss, or a really bad blow in life must start reorganizing by taking note of what’s left.

It’s easy enough to say “I’ve lost everything” when all the things around you, including your feelings are in disarray. Start by realizing that you are still alive. The fact that you can still feel something means you can still feel relief. No matter how painful the hurt, if you are still hurting, it means you can also feel it subside.

Stand up, take a look around you and within you. Be a friend to yourself and be compassionate to what your heart is telling you. It hurts from all the torture. Your better qualities have not left you, you just became blind to them. Look at them in a new light as you stand up from a bad tumble.

July 27, 2008

Goal Setting: Loyalty to a Purpose

Many people have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose.
- by Helen Keller

I have always believed that if someone wants something so badly that she can taste it, feel it in her hands and smell it, she will get it eventually. This is considering that she will do everything in her power to get it. A single minded purpose to obtain our goals will make it happen.

In the course of making things happen for us, temptations to let go of our intent come to seduce us out of our resolve. These could be doubts in our abilities, alternative choices offered by others, and simply lethargy, the loss of the will to pursue a dream.

A few things that one has to consider in setting goals

1. One has to delineate a specific objective

2. Mapping out a step-by-step strategy

3. Following the strategy strictly and systematically

4. Adjusting to some setbacks but moving forward nonetheless

5. Staying humble in victory

Like a guiding light house, one must go to the direction of her dreams no matter what happens. Never deviating from the path leading to ultimate gratification. Loyalty to a purpose is the vow we give to ourselves and the promise we must keep.

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